1982 Renault Alliance 4-door
I got plates, arranged a chase car, fired it up, and drove it off the yard. It was a trip to drive. I'd driven an Alliance convertible for a time, and an Encore 3-door for years. But they'd both had the 1.7L engine. This was a 1.4L. You wouldn't believe what a difference those three deciliters make. The other cars were what I would consider to be peppy, but this one was like a wind-up toy. I also found the Alliance body much more cramped than I had recalled.
I drove the car straight to my mechanic's. While it made the trip just fine, I wanted him to go over it thoroughly, and of course give it a NYS inspection. The car remained untouched at his place for several weeks while he procrastinated on getting to it. Finally the snow started falling. I called him up. "Dude. I'm driving a Fiero in the snow. What can you do for me?"
He finally got the car together. It didn't seem like it needed a lot of work, but when he added it all up, including two new snow tires, it came to over $700! This was becoming an expensive $200 car. When I picked up the car and drove it home, this was really the first time I'd driven it. I had no chase car this time. And the first thing I had to do when I left his place was drive up one of the longest hills in the area. The car putted along. It was slow, but it made it. Still, I felt like I was driving in a toy car.
I had to take it back to have him tend to the wipers/squirters and a couple lights that had gone back out, but it was pretty much ready to go. The car ran, but it basically ran like crap. There was a fuel injection computer sensor that was bad, and my guy somehow couldn't get it working right. It basically meant that the engine ran rich all the time. That meant that I got pretty crappy gas mileage, and that it was never really at full power, and that I had to think about the plugs getting fouled, but otherwise could get to work and back without any worries.
The other big problem was that the heater didn't work well. It was good enough to keep the windshield clear, but not nearly enough for comfortable driving in an upstate NY winter. The smell of anti-freeze made for a clear diagnosis. I would live with it for this year, and if things went as planned I might be living in California the following winter.
I will say this, when the snow finally fell, this car proved to be the best snow driver I've probably ever had. The skinny snow tires on the front wheel drive could cut through everything. I never even had to snow-blow my driveway. The ratio of length to width, squat by aesthetic standards, was perfect for stable driving on slippery or messy conditions. I actually looked forward to dire conditions because I wanted to see if the car even had any limits. I started calling it the Snow Cat.
The car got me through winter, but come spring it started getting sickly. The fuel injection problem was getting worse, and there were new symptoms. Sometimes the car would just lose power and have to limp along at a few miles an hour. Usually it would snap out of it, but it was very disturbing. I had to set it aside.
The following winter I had planned to spend in California. The fact that I was back home is another story. But there I was, December 1st, back at my country cottage without a decent snow car. I charged up the Alliance, but I couldn't get it started. I'd become a bit disillusioned with my regular mechanic. He knew every nut and bold on my car from stem to stern, and somehow he wasn't able to get it running decent. I decided to take it to another guy. He was closer too, making the tow a little less onerous (not like that's my problem).
Anyway, it took the new guy a little while to get around to it, but when he did he was impressive. He jacked into the fuel injection computer and got a report. The temp sensor was bad, the crank sensor was bad, and the computer was otherwise throwing all kinds of errors.
I went back to my old mechanic to see if he had these parts. There was actually a clone of my car parked right outside his garage door. He said I could pluck them off that car. I did it myself. It was towards the end of the day. When I came back in to pay him we started talking about the car I'd just pulled them off. It needed a gear box, which Rich had, and was otherwise really solid. He said he'd sell it to me as a parts car. I asked if it would drive back to my place. He said not now that I yanked those sensors off it. But if I put them back it would. I put the parts back on. While I was putting them on some guy pulled up in a Saab, who basically said to me as he walked past, "Sucks to be you."
I got the parts back on and it started right up. Actually it was the first time I'd heard what one of those 1.4L engines is *supposed* to sound like. He'd sell me the whole car for only like $100. The only problem was he didn't have a title for it. I'd have to sneak it back under my other registration. I went home with the intention of somehow getting that car back out to my place, and between the two get a decent winter car together.
The next morning I woke up thinking better of it. I decided to just get mine working and go with that. I went back to my mechanic's, pulled the parts *back* off the car, and took them to the other mechanic's. It was a cold, dark, damp, rainy December day in Ithaca. I went to the other mechanic and said if it was all the same to him I'd put these parts back on myself and see if it did anything. He said to ahead. I slapped the parts in (I was getting good at it by now), and it fired right up. Well well.
I drove it home. The first thing I did was stop at the neighborhood mini-mart and fill the tank. When I went to start it the battery was dead. That was pretty odd, considering I'd just started it up a few minutes before. I got the Fritos guy to help me push it out of the way. I walked home (about 0.8 mi), grabbed a battery charger and extension cord, and walked back. I sat down and decided to try it again before going to the trouble to hook everything up. To my surprise it started right up. I drove it home.
The next morning I found a huge pool of gasoline on my garage floor. The tank had a huge leak. It had been patched up before with a fat sheet metal screw and a rubber washer. I went to the store and got a fatter sheet metal screw, and took an old piece of bicycle tire inner tube, and cobbed it up better than it had been before. It held gas. I took it out for a shakedown cruise. It failed. I had to have AAA come and get me.
I noodled with the car a little more. It seemed to be running okay. I took it out for another shakedown cruise. It failed AGAIN. I had to have AAA come and get me AGAIN. I sat and waited, and when I was passed any hope that they might be early I figured I'd try to start it. To my unbeguiled astonishment the engine fired right up. I quickly drove it straight home and parked it. Then of course i called AAA to cancel the request.
I figured two things. First was that either the alternator was shot or the voltage regulator was fucked, but that either way the running of the engine was draining the battery until the engine would die. The battery appeared to be okay because with time it would be good enough to get the engine running again. But the second thing that I figured was that I didn't care. I'd had it. As a matter of fact, I decided to give up on Renaults altogether. At least for a while. I didn't trust this car to go to the corner store for a pack of gum. Depending on it day in and day out was just not going to happen. I pulled the plates and put her out to pasture.
There she lay for a 2 or 3 years, until one day a couple local boys knocked on my door. They'd been passing through and noticed the Citroën(s). I told them they weren't for sale, but that I had an old Renault I'd give them for free. They came back an hour later with a Ford Bronco, a chain, and a can of bee spray. Today it probably sits in pieces behind someone's mobile home trailer.